A Shrinking Bottomless

Did you have to wait long?
Couldn’t find a car—went up and down the platform, waited one, twice, almost thrice for a good one. I thought I was going to have to go up a station. You know how things can get on a Saturday morning.
Just a half hour. A few minutes to get a table—
Good, good. So how are you? How’ve you been?
I’m good. Busy as all heck. Sebastian’s away with friends for the weekend.
Foxwoods?
No, no. Portsmouth. Some sort of estate sale for a friend’s mom.
Aaahh. Didn’t know he had a salesman side to him.
Hmm. I didn’t either. He moves boxes as good as the rest of them, though.
Well, should we take a look at the menu? What’s good here?
You haven’t told me how you’re doing. How’s the job hunt?
Fine as fine goes, I s’pose. Whole industry’s gone to hell in a handbasket. What? You’ve never heard that before?
I haven’t.
Are you ready for drinks?
After you.
I’ll have a mocha chai. Soy if you don’t have oat milk, thanks.
We do.
Have oat milk?
Sorry—no, I mean soy.
Right.
I’ll do the bottomless bellini.
That comes with a pitcher. Two glasses okay?
I won’t have any.
We’ll take them.
I’ll be back in a bit with those drinks and take your order.
This menu is ginormous. I’m not sure I’ll be able to go through it by then. You recommend anything?
Do you like eggs benedict?
Oh lord, no. Too rich. Plus I’m not a fan of egg. Or I don’t have the stomach for it anymore, if you know what I mean.
Lots of people are finding they’re allergic to egg. But more often than not, people grow out of their allergies, not in.
Who’d have thought? Maybe it’s been that way all my life. So tell me—is Sebastian any closer to popping the question?
We’ve talked about it.
But?
Not sure of the timing?
Or you’re not sure? He’s so chiseled, Claire.
That’s not everything.
Is it because you’re holding all the cards? That makes you nervous, doesn’t it? Typical.
What’s typical?
You don’t know if you want to call the shots in domestic life, don’t you? Rather be taken care of? But you’ve gotta work off that medical school debt somehow.
That’s not what I mean.
Are you ready to order?
Yes, I’ll take the eggs benedict.
And do you want the home fries or salad?
Salad, please.
And for you?
Avo toast.
Certainly. Anything else I can get you? Those drinks should be out in a minute. Just waiting on the chai. Barista had to swap out a part.
He adores you. He’s got a good family. I don’t know what else you want.
You have a “good” family, no? It’s not everything.
My family was too good. I never said Sebastian was too good.
He does remind me of your brother, in some ways.
Ugh, he’s not at all like Rich. Your man’s humble. Never throws it in your face.
You’re just saying that because he doesn’t have that typical high-powered career. If he were in investment banking, you wouldn’t like him.
Not true. Sebastian looks into your eyes and cares what you have to say.
Rich did that.
Ugh, that’s ’cause he liked you.
That was a fun weekend.
Not for me.
Still not talking to them?
Nope.
Any of them? Even your dad?
What’s the point? They’re all just enabling the other. Always want to have things settled individually but want everything copacetic as a unit. If I’m not happy with them, I’m not going to pretend to be.
But—
Are you going to start into your speeches about duty? Because if I wanted a lecture, I could go on YouTube and skip the $15 decorated bread.
No, I—
Sherry talked to you, didn’t she? Is that why you wanted to get together?
Cat!
Eggs hollandaise. Avocado toast.
Are we going to get our drinks?
Errh—
I’m sorry, ma’am, it should really be out in a moment. This repair is taking longer—
You can’t bring the bellinis?
Yes, I can get those for you, no problem!
It’s just a pitcher and a glass. It’s a premade mix. It can’t be that hard.
Oh, you’re just mad she called you ma’am.
I don’t get this shit in Crown Heights. She didn’t even ask if we needed hot sauce.
Do you need hot sauce?
No, but you might.
Cat. How long have I been your friend? Wait—don’t answer that. Then it will really make me feel like “ma’am.” My point is that I know you. You want your family to accept you for you, and for some reason, they don’t seem to be doing that. Have you told them?
So many times. To the point I shouldn’t have to anymore. Everyone—you included—keeps asking me how I’m doing. How? Like I always have. Silently. Away. In the corner. While everyone else gets praise for being the regional champion. Graduating magna cum laude. Newest promotion. I never thought it would take losing the one piece of pride I had before I could wake up and see it all for what it really is.
Are you okay, Cat?
Better now these bellinis arrived. You sure you don’t want some? That chai’s never coming.
Pour me a teensy bit. But you didn’t answer my question.
I’ll put it like this. When we were in school—high school, not sure how you did things in East Camden—but for me, it was just one thing after the other. Prepare for college. Prepare for job. Do this extracurricular. Do the extra credit. By the time literature came around—the existentialists—I was burned out. It’s only now I have the time to appreciate them.
You’re not going to eat your toast?
In a little bit. It’s amazing when you think about it. That generation. Living through the Second World War. Right after their parents fought one even more pointless. It’s funny how it all just suddenly clicks when you reach a certain age. It’s all so pointless. So that’s why I’m looking out for me and my own.
I don’t think that’s the point of the existentialists.
Hey, I don’t ask you about anesthetics. You’re gonna have to trust me on this one. What’s that look for? Am I disappointing you?
No, that’s not it. I just wish I was reading more.
You’re lying. It’s easy to spot. You’re like Rich. You can’t hide from me.
And you can?
What’s that supposed to mean?
Forget it. I just wanted to see you, that’s all. Thanks for making the trip. It means a lot.
You don’t have to patronize me.
Where are you going?
Bathroom.

~//~

You all set? Something wrong with the avo toast? I brought you the chai to go. Again, really sorry about that.
It was great, as always, Sammie. I don’t need any change. The rest is for you.
Your friend doesn’t need a box?
Imagine she’ll need medical assistance if she’s not out of the bathroom in the next ten minutes. But I’ll be late for my gyno if I don’t leave now.